GOD ALSO BLINKS but he doesn't forget....

I have had many things happen since my last blog on *God Winking*, I have learned valuable lessons and found out more about myself. I believe I have mentioned a time or two in past blogs that I do not like problems. Nor do I handle them well. Trust me, I feel I have had my fair share of problems but I do not delight in a pity party OFTEN. I had one on June 1. Remember just how excited I was when I thought I was getting that job and God was winking? Well...I received a phone call from the big boss and he informed me they were not sure they wanted to let me go in the elementary for various reasons. Namely, I had been a positive force. During this phone conversation with my boss (and former relative-long story) I felt crushed. Literally. I controlled myself while talking to him on the phone after I found out there was a CHANCE I might not get the job. Did God blink and not wink after all?? What did this mean for me? I had shared my joy and excitement with so many others. But afterwards....I called my DH (while crying uncontrollably) who is such a man ...told me to just QUIT. I loved his support but I could never just quit-not my style. I called my friend Laurie who I was excited about teaching with in MS and she was equally upset, I called Jean1 and she said a prayer over me that although I remained somewhat devastated-I had some peace restored then. Basically, without even intending to I was forming my pity party. I happened to be at the elementary at the time working on summer school when I received this news. Therefore, it wasn't long before several people found out I was upset and why I was upset. Normally, I don't get upset. I do my job, respect authority,vent to trusted friends, and go home. Thus, the positive force! :) This was not the case that day. Remember-I was not told that I would NOT get the job-simply there was a chance I might not. Out of pride and anger, I thought about sending my resume out. However, I am ever loyal to this district and knew that was where I needed to be. How I handle my problems is talking. So I talked and talked to friends, received advice, dealt with my daughter and a parenting problem in between...this became a long day FAST. Jean1 came down and helped me write a *letter of intent*-this is what I was told to do as a means of getting that job, we had a pedicure and had dinner. The big boss called again and I called him and discussed it for a long time on the phone about how I handled myself and how badly I wanted that job. He told me he didn't know how bad I wanted it until it was offered and he assured me he would do his best to help me get it. I felt better and I trusted that he meant it. The next morning-I woke up a new person. It was truly amazing. I didn't even care if I had the job or not-I felt blessed to have had a job (because I still loved my other job and was looking at pros and cons on both sides). I was finally ME again and not the whiney baby. I had friends talk about it with me, give me support, prayed, and I know that was what helped. :) For those of you who don't communicate....DO IT-it is truly helpful. I am an avid communicator about issues.
I believe in my heart I do have the job-although it will not be official until TOMORROW! God didn't just BLINK and forget me-he WINKED. Jean1 says there is often a promise, a test, and then a provision. Either way I will be fine but I do hope for my new challenge and a new experience.