Jean2 here with some much needed prayers from all you readers. I will get right to the point. I am not good at marriage. I try to be. Maybe not hard enough but I try. That naturally selfish person takes over just too much. I want to do things when I want to do them, go where I want to go (within reason) and I don't see why this should be a problem. I have a DH that I love very much. He is very good to me in most respects. He likes for me to be home at night. And I understand that. However, I like to do a variety of different things with friends AND family. I work so the time that is left to do those things is in the evening or on the weekends. And I see nothing wrong with this. Everyone has different schedules, personalities and circumstances that they must work around. We are a blended family with many disagreements. Throughout the years, I have battled every one to the point of exhaustion. I am tired. I have decided to roll over and play dead. And that has worked for the most part. I am a natural control freak that wants my hand in every little thing that goes on in this house. I am working on this and have not found it that hard.I think my DH likes for me to control things. When I let him decide and graciously bow out-he sees that as I don't care. When I totally take over and control everything he resents it. He doesn't actually say it but I know he does. I would anyway. We have good times together and I know we love each other but sometimes my mind wonders to a better place (at least when I am mad-I think it is better)...a place in MY own land where I do what I want to do with nobody to answer to. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH. Some would say that is satan tempting me. Possibly. And no one needs to worry... I do not have getting out on my mind....just wondering how two stubborn people can find a way to get along about every aspect in their life. Children, money, work, time, needs, and wants. Hmmmmmmmmmm.....advice welcome.
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2 Commenting on your genius-ness:
First of all, let me say I am the last person to be giving advice, however I do find it easier to give than to pratice. I know excatly what your going through since me and DH having been going through that for the last year of our marriage and the short time before we got married.
We fight like we have been married for YEARS (like 100), and I find myself thinking 'what was i thinking getting married again!' I didn't have to ask to do something, I didn't have to worry about someone else's feelings (except kids) when I made decisions. But, I am like your DH I want my husband home with me after he gets off work since I didn't see him all day, and he wants to do his thing after he gets off since he has been at work all day. I have no advice to give you, but that I love you and I know God has great things destine for you and your DH, just hang in there, and go to your 'happy place' when you need it.
No advice, but I think you and your hubby are perfect together...I am a lot like you with the control issues and wanting to do my own thing without question, but my hubby is also very tolerant of those behaviors, and I think yours is too. You are one of the most giving, loving people I know, even though you claim to be so selfish, I think you're just NORMAL. :)
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