Decided Animosity

This is a new term I'm coining. I've decided that there are many people in life that have decided to have animosity towards a person, group of people or an idea. Sometimes it might take the form of prejudice, sometimes it may come out in rejection toward a particular family member or it might even come out in the way a person may rebel against authority in school, work or even spiritually.

I've learned a lot about this way of personal operation in many ways. I am, as many of you know, a substitute teacher. In the schools you see a lot of this type of behavior. Towards teachers, other students, administration and parents. It's amazing how far the minds perception will allow one to see actions in one way just because they have these decided animosity toward that particular person. I.e. "I don't like authority" will result in a student getting enraged for being told to sit down and listen.

I've also observed this in the world in general. I once even operated this way toward my own husband. I had decided animosity toward him in a way that colored every thing he ever did or said. During our first seven years (or so) of marriage a simple act of putting a cheese grater in the sink without water would send me into such a rage because I read that as a dig toward my housekeeping. I also would hear words come him that would make my angry because the words entered my mind through the filter of my decided animosity, words like "did you pay the credit card bill" would instantly put me on the defensive and make me want to rip his head off. The words were not in themselves bad words, but the way I heard them through my filter made them sound like this: "What are you doing with our money?" It wasn't until I released that animosity did I truly begin to hear the words that were being spoken to me.

I also have observed this with stepchildren/step-parents, I have many friends who fall into both of those categories. A stepchild may view the new parent through the same type of filter bringing about a level of rejection that causes more animosity, thus creating a vicious cycle. I've also watched it happen toward a biological parent and child (lest you think it only has to do with step families) when a rejection of one type or other has happened, perceived or real.

{Whew, this is turning out much longer than I had first thought it would}

All this to say, "When you find yourself on the offended side of life, check your filters to see if the offense is coming due to your perceptions or is a shot at you due to the offenders decided animosities. You might find out that you can decide not to have animosity and instead harbor harmony."